Things I'm loving right now

My dog. Except for the fact that this morning she jumped up on my and got me so dirty that I had to come back in the house and change my clothes.

God. My favorite thing to say lately is God is Mysterious.

Joseph. He sent flowers today. For no reason.

My Job. Its good to work every day on something you care about. It's going to be a rough couple of weeks as we have some really big programs coming up, but It feels good.

Avatar. Saw it in 3D Imax and can't wait to watch it again. Might have to invest in that one on Thursday.

Yarn. I keep looking at some yarn at etsy and am thinking about ordering some new stuff to knit with :)

Pink. Don't know why, just feeling feminine lately.

My Sewing Machine. Been using it a lot this week and it feels so good to make something with my hands.

Glee. Just watched the Madonna episode. Too much sex. But awesome songs!

Fishing. Such a relaxing way to spend the afternoon, until something bites and my heart starts racing! Its been so warm here, we have been spending a lot of time sitting on the boat drinking a beer and slaying the blue gill.

My Family. Making plans to head north next month to see them. Get ready people!

Dreaming. Dreaming about my sewing room. Dreaming about my kitchen remodel. Dreaming about the garden. Dreaming about a baby.

New Projects, New Pictures

Hello Blog World!!

Well, after my last post, I planned on posting a lot. And then I got kinda embarrassed about putting myself out there, so I couldn't find anything to say - is everyone thinking I'm just going to be writing about my problems? Is everyone expecting me to be crazy upset and emotional? Well I am, but I'm not going to tell you about it. I am going to update you on my crazy craftiness!

I got some new yarn, at Shirley's Sewing Shop in Huntingburg! Cute shop, lots of yarn, very talkative woman. I got the impression that she doesn't see a lot of people out there. Anyway, I kept telling her I wanted something thin and pink, she kept giving white, or black. So I picked up this yarn, and she was like, well if you want that one, its your choice.

Here's my new project. Its a little wrap for me!

It came in this pretty ball of yarn.

Another view of my new project!

And Again :) I took a lot of pictures

Here's one I just finished a couple weeks ago. Its camo. I made it for Grandpa Seger, and I guess I will have to take it to him tomorrow, as turkey hunting does start on Wednesday. And he needs a scarf to catch a turkey.

Here's another look. Stylish!

And now for a cute dog! We put in an underground fence (see the white flags behind) and she loves to sit in the driveway and watch traffic. She loves being an outside and digging holes and being super cute! Right now she is sitting by me eating a bone :)

I am also working on another project, but it will not be revealed yet. So wait, and check back a lot :)

This is my confession.....

Here goes....

We are struggling with infertility. This should not be shocking to most who read my blog, because most who read it know me personally. But we are. And I can't write on my blog because I am too angry/hurt/sad/in a dark place to find anything positive to write. Or I have been. This week we went back to the doctor and talked to him again. Then we spent the weekend in Cincinnati, just a little get away, and had some great conversations about our future and our expectations.

So here's what it came down to....

God must have a good reason for this pain. We don't know/understand why, but we trust that God has a good reason. We wish he would reveal that to us so we could understand, but God is mysterious. I have been having this feeling lately that maybe God wants to put our family together a different way - adoption - and he knows if we could have a natural child, it wouldn't happen. So he is with holding this one thing that we want so badly from us because our future family depends on it. And above all I am going to trust when the time is right God will reveal his plan to us, and we will make it happen - with his help.

Walking this walk takes a great amount of faith for me. Faith in God, faith in the doctor, faith in Joseph. And for some reason this week I am finding great strength in my faith. It isn't always this easy, and I may not feel this way in 2 weeks when I'm pumped up on the hormones again. But for right now, I am going to be faithful. And my prayer tonight is that I remember God IS mysterious even when the hormones take over :)

So there it is. This is my only excuse for not blogging. I am slowly getting better at being myself again. I'm taking a spinning class. I'm cleaning the house again. I'm loving the dog. I'm knitting. I'm thinking about sewing. I'm making plans to clean out/paint my new craft/sewing room (which really should be the nursery, but no need for that right now.) I'm planning the garden I am going to grow in my yard with a close friend - and longing for the first red tomato of the season. I'm not crying as much, and spending more time with friends. I'm renovating my kitchen. Staying busy is helpful.

* I would like to thank my friend mrs. rice for coming out on her blog. She showed me that I don't have to hide behind my infertility. Its part of me, and I have to learn to live through it, not behind it.

Winter Wrap-up!

I know its still winter, but down here it doesn't really feel like it. Its been in the 50's and it really could have been April for the last couple of weeks. Here's a little sampling of what we have been up to this winter while I was not blogging:

Joe Hunted. And got a button buck (translation: Bambi with little nubs). It sure is tasty!

This guy came to visit. That's our tree behind him. And he brought his mom, Aunt Katie Jean and Carleigh!Found this new friend at a little junk shop. Don't know why, but I love him!

Family Christmas photo. Theresa said my tree was so perfect she wanted to undecorate it and rearrange it. Meanie.Then the day they left it snowed, making it the worse trip to Wisconsin ever. Next year they are coming in early November. Or July.
Then for Christmas we went to Wisconsin! Joe and Jeremiah put their heads together.
And Carleigh joined God's Family! Welcome :) So now I have you all caught up, I better go out and take more pictures for later. Trying to get better at posting on this blog, Hope it keeps up.

Late

So I should be in bed, (actually I am IN bed, I guess I should say I should be sleeping.) Instead I am blogging. I set my new years resolution to blog more, and I have failed for the first 18 days. Let me catch you up on my new year.

We spent the first part in Wisconsin, and then came back to Jasper and had about a normal week. Joe was on the road one day, and then his jobs got moved around so he got to come home (yay!) Then we had a snow storm, and Dixie decided she loves the snow. Here's a picture:

She is getting very big and has grown up into a much better dog. She loves the play Frisbee and peanut butter rawhide's, and is so smart we taught her to ring a bell when she has to go potty. She still tries to eat the couch and thinks God gave me legs for her chewing enjoyment, but all in all we love her. She loves to lay on our bed at night before we go to sleep, and when her time is up and she should be going back to her crate, she gives us the look that says 'I'm a good girl, I can sleep with you guys, I won't bite or pee or be bad, you can trust me' and we ALMOST give in. But for now, we agree that crating her is the best option for us and for her.

So School was canceled for two days here because of the snow (which is ridiculous, if we had been in Wisco there would have not only been school that day, there would have been sports that night.) Also the Burger King was closed. How do I know that you ask? Well, they have this wonderful little thing called a funnel cake stick, and I'm addicted.

Then it all went down hill. I thought we were having a great start to the new year - working out on the wii fit, (I lost 4, Joe lost 10), I was getting excited about projects at work, and then Wally died. Wally was our church custodian and on the 10th his house burnt down. He and his wife both died in the fire. And the world stopped. I really mean that too - we had no church service that weekend, we just broke the bad news the the congregation and tried to let the healing begin through music and hugs. Then Monday we tried to move, but found ourselves stuck in the grieving process. I got very little done at work last week. I felt sorta broken. I saw this man everyday - he was very dedicated to the church and his work. And suddenly he was gone. then I started hearing how he went out of this world, and it made the healing process even harder, but I won't go into that.

We had a beautiful service for Wally and his wife Barbara Friday night, and there is no doubt in my mind that they met Jesus last weekend. Wally loved the Lord, and I'm pretty sure nobody is going to ask him to do dishes in heaven.

So this week I've been trying to get back to normal, but healing is a slow process. Sometimes I can hear him coming down the hallway humming an old familiar hymn, or I have found myself singing How Great Thou Art more than once this week (it was his favorite). And I miss him.

I was going to put more pictures up, but my Internet is hit and miss tonight - maybe tomorrow friends. Until then, remember, God Loves You!

Dolphins, Dogs and Drugs

Today I was reading an article that said Dolphins were the smartest mammals in the world besides us. And some scientist wants them treated humanely. I laughed out loud when I read this. Really? You want us to get lawyers for a dolphin when another brushes up against him in the water and he feels violated? We should put them on food stamps when they can't find enough fish to feed their little dolphin babies and give them scholarships to Miami U? Next they are going to say we shouldn't call our professional teams 'the dolphins' because its offensive.

I hate that word humane. If animals were ment to be treated like humans, they would have been humans, not animals.

OK that's probably more of a rant than it was intended to be.

So thinking about the dolphins, I got thinking about my dog, Dixie. She got spayed yesterday, and I brought her home today. She lacked a certain spring in her step. I know that she just had what we would call major surgery, but I felt sorry for her. I wondered if she is going to go through the rest of her life longing the little babies that I denied her. Do dogs and dolphins really have feelings?

So I think I am going to have to take some heavy drugs to get some sleep after allowing these random thoughts to infiltrate my life.

Testing from my phone